I spent a lot of years asking God “Why?” Why did my father struggle with alcoholism? Why did Debbie’s parents have to die so young? Why did our businesses fail? Why did we lose our precious Colleen? Those “whys” can eat you alive if you let them.
But somewhere along this journey, God taught me to ask a different question. Instead of “Why is this happening?” I learned to ask, “What are you preparing me for, Lord?” And let me tell you, that shift changed everything.
When we were living on Balboa Island, running successful businesses, I kept asking why God allowed it all to crumble. But when I started asking what He was preparing me for, the pieces began falling into place. Every business success, every failure, every heartbreak – He was shaping me for something I couldn’t yet see.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28
Think about it – would I be able to truly understand the struggles of ministry leaders if I hadn’t experienced my own failures? Could I authentically walk alongside others in their grief if I hadn’t walked through deep valleys myself? Would I understand the power of being versus doing if I hadn’t learned it the hard way?
This transformation in thinking isn’t just about positive thinking or finding silver linings. It’s about trusting that God is always at work, even in our darkest moments. It’s about believing that He wastes nothing – not our pain, not our mistakes, not our losses.
The amazing thing is, when we shift from “why” to “what,” we start seeing God’s hand more clearly. We begin to understand that our struggles aren’t just about us – they’re preparation for how we can serve others. Every scar becomes a story of hope for someone else walking a similar path.
I see this play out constantly at Standing Stone Ministry. Leaders come to us asking “why” – why their church split, why their marriage is struggling, why they feel burnt out. But when we help them shift to asking “what,” everything changes. What is God teaching them? What is He preparing them for? What ministry might emerge from this pain?
Share with me – where are you stuck in the “why” questions? How might your perspective shift if you started asking “what” instead?