Ever driven along a mountain road? Those guardrails might not look like much, but they’re often the only thing between you and a very long drop. Life’s a bit like that too – we all need some non-negotiable guardrails to keep us from veering off into dangerous territory.
Let me tell you a story about learning this the hard way. Back in the early days of South Coast Community Church, I watched leader after leader crash and burn. Good people, talented people, who somehow ended up in places they never thought they’d go. It wasn’t because they woke up one morning and decided to wreck their lives – it was because they didn’t have strong enough guardrails in place.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23
Through years of both witnessing and experiencing life’s hard knocks, I’ve discovered three guardrails that are absolutely non-negotiable. Not just for
leaders, but for anyone who wants to live a life of integrity and purpose.
First up: unyielding honesty. I’m not just talking about not telling lies – I’m talking about a commitment to truth that goes bone-deep. Here’s what I mean: When someone says “Honestly…” before making a statement, doesn’t it make you wonder about everything else they’ve said? Either you’re honest or you’re not. There’s no middle ground.
I learned this lesson during my restaurant days at the Sextant. I thought I could handle the “small” compromises – a little creative accounting here, a blind eye there. But those small compromises? They’re like termites in the foundation of your integrity. By the time you see the damage, it’s often too late.
The second guardrail? Rigid boundaries with the opposite sex. I know, I know – in today’s world, this one might sound old-fashioned or unnecessary. But I’ve seen too many lives implode because people thought they were “strong enough” to handle compromising situations. Trust me on this one – you’re not being paranoid; you’re being wise.
Think of it this way: would you build a fence right at the edge of a cliff, or would you put it a few feet back? Give yourself some margin for safety. Your marriage, your family, and your integrity are worth protecting.
The third guardrail is knowing and operating from your proven strengths. This one might surprise you, but it’s crucial. When we try to be someone we’re not or operate outside our God-given abilities, we’re actually more vulnerable to failure and compromise.
Let me get personal here. For years, I tried to be like other leaders I admired. I wanted to have Tim Timmons’ charisma, Bob Shank’s wisdom, everyone else’s gifts but my own. You know what happened? I nearly burned out trying to be someone I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I embraced my own unique strengths – my ability to arrange and organize, my love for one-on-one connections – that I found my true purpose.
These guardrails aren’t about restricting your freedom; they’re about protecting it. They’re not walls to hem you in; they’re boundaries to keep you safe. And here’s the beautiful thing – when you have these guardrails firmly in place, you can actually live with more confidence and freedom, not less.
Think about your own life for a moment. Where might you need stronger guardrails? Are there areas where you’ve let boundaries slip? Maybe it’s time to do an honest assessment of where you stand.
This week, I challenge you to pick one of these areas – honesty, boundaries, or operating in your strengths – and strengthen that guardrail in your life. Maybe it means having a hard conversation you’ve been avoiding. Maybe it means setting some new boundaries at work. Or maybe it means finally taking that strengths assessment you’ve been putting off.
Share your thoughts with me. Which of these guardrails resonates most with you? Where do you see the need for stronger boundaries in your own life? Remember, we’re all in this journey together, and sometimes the best way to stay on track is to help each other maintain those guardrails.
After all, the best time to install a guardrail isn’t after you’ve gone over the cliff – it’s while you’re still safely on the road.